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How
and Why D.T.R. Was Founded
by Teresa Mills Davenport
On
Saturday morning, June 5th, 2010, my husband Rob told me
he was going for a ride on his bike and would be back in a few
hours, and left. I went about my normal business taking care of
Michael, my disabled son, and Bobby, my eleven year old son.
An hour and half later, there was a knock on the door. I opened it
and two policemen were standing there. One of the officers said,
Teresa? I instantly knew what they were going to tell me, I put my
hand up and said, “don’t.” I walked into the kitchen and one of the
police officers followed me in, while the other stayed in the living
room with Michael and Bobby, the officer went on to inform me that
Rob had been killed on his bike, and that paramedics done everything
they could do for him, but they already knew he was dead.
I told the officer I wanted to go straight to Rob. Bobby asked if he
could come as well as he hadn’t seen his dad that morning. The
officer advised me to let Bobby come along and they took me and
Bobby to the hospital. They asked me to formally identify Rob.
Bobby and I were taken into a small room so I could identify Rob
and spend sometime alone with him. Bobby stood at one side of the
table while I stood at the other side. Bobby placed a small model
motorbike to his dad’s lips and then ran out of the room sobbing. I
saw the officer hug Bobby and say to him, it’s alright son.
I took hold of Rob’s hand, and while crying I told him I loved him,
kissed his forehead, and left the room feeling sick.
The officer asked me if that was Rob and I replied, “Yes.” I was
then asked to sign papers to formally identify Rob.
While walking out of the hospital holding Bobby’s hand, Bobby, as he
was crying, said to me, “Mam I’m going to make my dad proud of me.”
I replied, “ you already have, son”
We returned home with the officers and were met by my daughters, and
sons in law…I very soon started to receive numerous phone calls
asking me if what they had heard was true, had Rob really been
killed on his bike? None of the family slept at all that night, we
were all in a state of deep shock.
Bobby,
while sobbing, said to me, “ I hope that man realizes how many
hearts he’s broken.
I felt alone, and totally full of shock, and deeply emotionally hurt
so bad I could not think straight. I didn’t know what I would do. I
was in deep despair and really afraid of what the future would bring
and how I would take care of the rest of my family. I have never
felt this alone before.
I never questioned why God let this happen. I never asked myself if
God had left me. I never turned away from God. I was seeking Him
more than I ever have. I talked to Jesus and asked Him to guide me
and tell me what to do now…I told Jesus I felt totally lost and
afraid. I continued to talk to Jesus in this way every night.
A couple of months later, the idea came to me to create a safety
awareness for motorcyclists on the roads, as I didn’t want another
woman or children to go through the pain and despair we as a family
went through.
I knew God was telling me to go forward and create a safety
awareness program for motorcyclists. I knew what I had to do, but
just didn't know how to get it started. So I called the President of
Rob’s Widows Sons Chapter, and told him what I wanted to do and
asked him to help me set up a page on Facebook.
About a week later, the President came to the house to discuss my
thoughts and what I wanted. He agreed to set the page up, but I had
to have a name for the organization. The President came up with the
name Dying to Ride, and asked if I was happy with the name. Which I
was. He then set up the Facebook page. Then I started to search
Facebook to find my late husband’s brother Widows Sons. I planned to
contact them and explain about Rob and to ask them to support and
join my cause, Dying to Ride.
Dying to Ride started slow, but received a good boost when I
contacted the Founder of the Widows Sons, and he promoted Dying to
Ride on a few of his Masonic communication channels. Dying to Ride
grew from 20 members to more than 800 in two weeks. Dying to Ride
continues to grow today, as Dying to Ride is now being promoted by
several supporters. Dying to Ride is seven months old.
Today, at the 1st anniversary of Rob’s death, Bobby is
in the process of having child bereavement counselling to help him
cope with the loss of his dad. Michael, who has severe learning
disabilities, autism and epilepsy, initially showed signs of
grieving as was apparent at his dad’s funeral, when after the
funeral service when Rob” coffin was placed into the hearse. Michael
went to the hearse and placed his forehead on the window and looked
directly at the coffin, with a very sad solemn look on his face.
People standing nearby saw this and cried. They were saying how much
they felt for him, knowing Michael’s disability and here he is shown
his pain for his dad. Today Michael appears to be getting back to
his usual happy self.
Future Plans For Dying to Ride
To provide emotional and practical support to new widows.
I plan to use the pain I have experienced to help widows,
whether they have lost their husbands suddenly and they are in
shock, or whether they have lost their husband due to illness and
have been grieving for a while. The suffering and pain I have
experienced can be an important tool in helping them overcome the
pain and desperation they are living at this time of grief. They
will know I truly understand what they are going through because I
have lived it myself.
Presentations about motorcycle awareness at teen driver education
classes
I feel it is best to create an
atmosphere of motorcycle awareness to those who are learning to
drive. I plan to put on presentations and show motorcycle safety
awareness movies that will have an impact on the learning driver and
remain on their mind. They will know about motorcycle awareness at
the time they begin driving.
Information booths at auto shows and other places where motorists
attend
I plan to print brochures and pamphlets to hand out at auto
shows, boat shows, RV shows and other places where operators of
motor vehicles will attend.
Press Releases about Motorcycle Awareness
I have obtained lists of media sources to contact with Press
Releases about motorcycle awareness.
Please support Dying to Ride by joining and asking your family and
friends to join Dying to Ride. It costs you nothing to save a life.
Dying
to Ride can now be followed on Twitter, (
http://twitter.com/DyingtoRide ), and on Facebook, http://www.causes.com/causes/531538-dying-to-ride
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