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The Testimony of Dying to Ride
How and Why D.T.R Was Founded
by Teresa Mills Davenport
On
Saturday morning, June 5th, 2010, my husband Rob told me he
was going for a ride on his bike and would be back in a few hours, and
left. I went about my normal business taking care of Michael, my
disabled son, and Bobby, my eleven year old son.
An hour and half later, there was a knock on the door. I opened it and
two policemen were standing there. One of the officers said, Teresa? I
instantly knew what they were going to tell me, I put my hand up and
said, “don’t.” I walked into the kitchen and one of the police officers
followed me in, while the other stayed in the living room with Michael
and Bobby, the officer went on to inform me that Rob had been killed on
his bike, and that paramedics done everything they could do for him, but
they already knew he was dead.
I
told the officer I wanted to go straight to Rob. Bobby asked if he could
come as well as he hadn’t seen his dad that morning. The officer advised
me to let Bobby come along and they took me and Bobby to the hospital.
They asked me to formally identify Rob. Bobby and I were taken into a
small room so I could identify Rob and spend sometime alone with him.
Bobby stood at one side of the table while I stood at the other side.
Bobby placed a small model motorbike to his dad’s lips and then ran out
of the room sobbing. I saw the officer hug Bobby and say to him, it’s
alright son.
I took hold of Rob’s hand, and while crying I told him I loved him,
kissed his forehead, and left the room feeling sick.
The officer asked me if that was Rob and I replied, “Yes.” I was then
asked to sign papers to formally identify Rob.
While walking out of the hospital holding Bobby’s hand, Bobby, as he was
crying, said to me, “Mam I’m going to make my dad proud of me.”
I replied, “ you already have, son”
We returned home with the officers and were met by my daughters, and
sons in law…I very soon started to receive numerous phone calls asking
me if what they had heard was true, had Rob really been killed on his
bike? None of the family slept at all that night, we were all in a state
of deep shock.
Bobby,
while sobbing, said to me, “ I hope that man realizes how many hearts
he’s broken.
I felt alone, and totally full of shock, and deeply emotionally hurt so
bad I could not think straight. I didn’t know what I would do. I was in
deep despair and really afraid of what the future would bring and how I
would take care of the rest of my family. I have never felt this alone
before.
I never questioned why God let this happen. I never asked myself if God
had left me. I never turned away from God. I was seeking Him more than I
ever have. I talked to Jesus and asked Him to guide me and tell me what
to do now…I told Jesus I felt totally lost and afraid. I continued to
talk to Jesus in this way every night.
A couple of months later, the idea came to me to create a safety
awareness for motorcyclists on the roads, as I didn’t want another woman
or children to go through the pain and despair we as a family went
through.
I knew God was telling me to go forward and create a safety awareness
program for motorcyclists. I knew what I had to do, but just didn't know
how to get it started. So I called the President of Rob’s Widows Sons
Chapter, and told him what I wanted to do and asked him to help me set
up a page on Facebook.
About a week later, the President came to the house to discuss my
thoughts and what I wanted. He agreed to set the page up, but I had to
have a name for the organization. The President came up with the name
Dying to Ride, and asked if I was happy with the name. Which I was. He
then set up the Facebook page. Then I started to search Facebook to find
my late husband’s brother Widows Sons. I planned to contact them and
explain about Rob and to ask them to support and join my cause, Dying to
Ride.
Dying to Ride started slow, but received a good boost when I contacted
the Founder of the Widows Sons, and he promoted Dying to Ride on a few
of his Masonic communication channels. Dying to Ride grew from 20
members to more than 800 in two weeks. Dying to Ride continues to
grow today, as Dying to Ride is now being promoted by several
supporters. Dying to Ride is seven months old.
Today, at the 1st anniversary of Rob’s death, Bobby is in
the process of having child bereavement counselling to help him cope with
the loss of his dad. Michael, who has severe learning disabilities,
autism and epilepsy, initially showed signs of grieving as was apparent
at his dad’s funeral, when after the funeral service when Rob” coffin
was placed into the hearse. Michael went to the hearse and placed his
forehead on the window and looked directly at the coffin, with a very
sad solemn look on his face. People standing nearby saw this and cried.
They were saying how much they felt for him, knowing Michael’s
disability and here he is shown his pain for his dad. Today Michael
appears to be getting back to his usual happy self.
Future Plans For Dying to Ride
To provide emotional and practical support to new widows.
I plan to use the pain I have experienced to help widows, whether
they have lost their husbands suddenly and they are in shock, or whether
they have lost their husband due to illness and have been grieving for a
while. The suffering and pain I have experienced can be an important
tool in helping them overcome the pain and desperation they are living
at this time of grief. They will know I truly understand what they are
going through because I have lived it myself.
Presentations about motorcycle awareness at teen driver education
classes
I feel it is best to create an
atmosphere of motorcycle awareness to those who are learning to drive. I
plan to put on presentations and show motorcycle safety awareness movies
that will have an impact on the learning driver and remain on their
mind. They will know about motorcycle awareness at the time they begin
driving.
Information booths at auto shows and other places where motorists
attend
I plan to print brochures and pamphlets to hand out at auto shows,
boat shows, RV shows and other places where operators of motor vehicles
will attend.
Press Releases about Motorcycle Awareness
I have obtained lists of media sources to contact with Press
Releases about motorcycle awareness.
Please support Dying to Ride by joining and asking your family and
friends to join Dying to Ride. It costs you nothing to save a life.
Dying to Ride can now be
followed on Twitter, (
http://twitter.com/DyingtoRide ), and on Facebook, http://www.causes.com/causes/531538-dying-to-ride
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